it has been a hard day for jass...

今天真的是好累。。。 让我觉得自己已经成为压抑私人感情的高手。。。但是我仍然要感谢天父派来帮助与支持我的天使。。。 没有他们。。。我应该已经崩溃了。。。

yet an active mind...

I thought that i will sleep early today... but I am still awake at this hour!

think there are reasons for it.. had a 2.5 hour session with a parent today... the work with the child client is really not easy... I wished certain things did not happen to her...

as I looked through the many artworks of my clients in preparation for a training that I am doing next week... the progress my clients have made became so clear to me... yet I have not been seeing it! and has been doubting or lamenting on the work that I am doing...

dont't get me wrong... it is not that I don't enjoy my work.. in fact I love it and I know it is a privilege to be in this profession... but it does get trying at times... when I need to crack my tiny brain hard to find ways to be effective and be of true help to my clients...

from the images just now... I am reminded that the work takes time... it is definitely not a quick fix... but there will be baby steps to the bigger fixes... So NEVER GIVE UP!

on another note... I watched Child of Rage again... Tears well up everytime I watch it...

I hope I can sleep....

recent images...

 casper... according to s... an impt symbol to me...
it just reminds me of my earlier days...

 p will understand what this is? hehe...

 listening and reflecting on a journey of the heart...

 a close-up...

 a different feel...

 focusing on the spirit within me...

 part of each other...

 an amazing experience...

see another look?

part of project A.R.T of SPED Conference 2012

an insight...

what do you do when someone tells you he or she is ugly in every way? of 'cos I wanna tell the person that it cannot be true... but is what I think of the person so important? probably not... sometimes it is more helpful to be able to hold and contain what the person says without feeling overwhelmed but at the same time emphatic about what the person had experienced...

a real change is a change from the inside...

attachment...

The last four days of attending a course on attachment focused therapy have been an enriching, high impact, useful, meaningful, hopeful yet heart wrenching at times.

The essential needs of human existence starting from being an infant to a young child: being safe, being loved, being held, being cared, being regulated. Yet these are far-fetching for some children. Their experiences tell them that the world is unsafe for them hence they need to fight to survive; tell them that they are not good enough to be loved; tell them that to get attention means to make adults scream at them; tell them that they can never find someone to love them and to love forever; tell them that they are bad and unworthy to be loved.

Attachment focused therapy help these children to reattach to their main caregivers, be it mom, dad, foster mom, foster dad, main caregiver in a home. An important point i have missed, at the same time found it hard to work with is the fact that the involvement of the "natural" attachment figure is pivotal in the treatment (other than the use of myself that i use all the time). In fact, parental commitment (birth, foster or surrogate) is the most accurate predictor to the success of attachment therapy as pointed by Dr Arthur's model of dyadic developmental psychotherapy. This is something s and i hope to integrate into our school setting to help our students more effectively. We are beginning with a case in mind.

There were many points that Dr Arthur taught which i hope that all professionals working with children in this area can bear in mind 'cos they are so important... in fact i think they apply to all professionals working with children...

(MOST IMPORTANT AND DEFINITELY TRUE) it is about connection and not compliance... with connection comes compliance...

don't SHOUT at a child... think about what you are communicating when you do that... regulate yourself to regulate the child...

intervene the causes and not symptoms of behaviours... the way to handle a child's tantrum is to intervene before the child gets to that sate of dysregulation...

work at maintaining PACE in therapy... Playful, Accepting, Curious and Empathy...

the power of holding a child in loving, regulating and comforting way...

be brave to apologize to the child when we adults are wrong...

a child always yearn for parents' love no matter what their parents did to them...

work at a child's developmental instead of chronological age...

the importance of building and maintaining an alliance while working with a child in therapy and all...

always treat using "first things first"... so what the child is slouching on the couch of walking around the room... so long as they are engaged with you...

remember that children are always watching what we adults do...and they learn.... good or bad...

i hope that i will always remember these principles... even if it is the most difficult child to work with... it is hardly the child's fault... and there must always be something positive to hold on to... till we experience more...

disclaimer: however it does not mean i will not be tired... i will if i am truly working hard alongside the children and teens i see... i just need to rest to start again:)

till i needed to do art...

if it is already hard for me... how much so for my students...

Sandplay & Symbol Work Training

tuning in to the body...

feelings...

working with dreams...

a closer look...

the self...

my take-away...

a quick post from work!

my student called me "art therapy teacher" just now! first time i hear this term and i quite like it! hahaha.... though "teacher" sounds more related to "authority figure"... i feel it sounds more personal and 亲切!

some thots...

haven't been blogging... work has been busy!

many cases to handle and i am still learning... just like what i told some friends... i wish i have a magic wand that would make everything ok instantly! but i don't...

i'm learning....

when someone doubts your ability... don't ignore it... don't react to it... but find out why the person says so... ask leading questions... then you get to understand and maybe prove your point! or if you are really not up to mark... it is an opportunity to improve...

the importance of multi-disciplinary team approach... know that in the world... you are not alone... and you can't do everything...

the importance of maintaining sanity... to rest is to go a longer distance... so need to learn to let go...

food for thought...

"you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"Hwa is thet mei thet hors wettrien the him self nule drinken"who can give water to the horse that will not drink of its own accord?"

shared responsibility...

Mind Your Body, The Straits Times featured Sandplay Therapy!

indeed for the children i see...

reminded of a boy i am seeing... somehow i hope there was enough love and nurture in his life... that things will not turn out to be so difficult for him...

in fact not just one client... but most of my clients...

the heart of parenting...

爱的教育。。。 was very much the "topic of the day" when i went to do my cny visitings and reunion gatherings...

largely due to 职业病... i find myself constantly talking about that to my aunts and uncles and friends... or rather they ask me about it :p

and there is always this question "how should parents discipline their children?"... and also the "not that i want to beat him/her (the child)... but that seems to be the only thing that works!"...

hehe... not easy questions to answer... and neither am i a parent myself to have gained actual parenting experience... but from working with kids in therapy... i know that hitting a child indeed caused more hurts than benefits... i mean even as i recall my parents' parenting styles and what i have gone through as a child... i definitely do not like the caning and till now do not see the benefits of it... i wish they were more patience to teach me "the lesson" rather than "teach me a lesson"...

been reading Raising Cain: Protecting the emotional life of boys by Dan Kindlon & Michael Thompson... it is a very good book and i would recommend every parent and educator to read it... the following is what they wrote:

"Good discipline contains a boy and his energy, providing the sense of physical and emotional security he needs in order to learn the larger lessons of self-control and moral behaviour. Good discipline is consistent; it provides clear and well-reasoned expectations and firm, compassionate guidance by adults who model the same standards and behaviour in their daily interactions with a child and with others. Good discipline engages a child, encourages contact instead of isolation, draws him into discussion instead of sending him away."

perhaps if we can remember the above principles as we guide and discipline a child... it would help the child to learn than to fear...

Being a Therapist: A Labor of Love

Being a Therapist: A Labor of Love
by Jason Saffer, M.A., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

She had spent the last hour crying as she had never cried before. Now, she felt stronger. Her eyes glowed with a new understanding and her face reflected a new clarity. As the woman dried her eyes and walked out the door, I remembered again what I loved about being a therapist: it was such a satisfying feeling assisting people to recover their true selves.

This 36 year old woman was leaving my office after spending close to an hour getting in touch with her feelings of grief, sadness, and anger that were the legacy of her childhood emotional abuse and incest. She had come into therapy initially without any remembrance of these traumas but with symptoms including alcoholism and nighttime anxieties. But at this point in her therapy work, she had one year of sobriety to celebrate and the ability to sleep through the night without fear.

As a therapist, I often savor the privilege of being with people in such close ways, to assist them in their exploration to learn who they are and how they got to be the way they are. As a therapist, a counselor, people come to me with a problem to solve, a situation to resolve, a chronic emotional pain to heal. Maybe their relationships are not working the way they'd like or they are unsatisfied with the work they do. In some way or another, they don't feel whole and complete, they sense that life has more to offer, something is holding them back. Whatever the situation, they come to my therapy office wanting to make some changes, and they're willing to do their best to be as real and authentic as possible.

It's so much like watching a flower unfold, a caterpillar become a butterfly. To break out of that cocoon, the butterfly has to do a lot of work and go through a lot of struggle, pain, and suffering. But what a beautiful result! People are the same way, trying to break free of this restrictive (though protective) cocoon-coating that they find themselves in. As their therapist, they ask me to be with them as they go through the process, listen to their tales of struggle and success, offer guidance and structure to their experience, and celebrate with them their wins.

What do I actually do as a therapist? What really goes on in my office? Well, at one level, people come to visit me! That's just a delight! They come at the appointed time and we spend a designated time together. I'm there to listen and really hear what they have to say. I delve into my bag of tricks to elicit how they really feel, to teach them to listen to their own inner voice, to connect with the small child within who has suffered in one way or another. It's a joy to watch people "come into their own," to be with them over time as they learn to love and respect themselves for who they are rather than who they think they ought to be.

One of the most delightful (and challenging) aspects of my work is that people so often come in dealing with the same issues and patterns that I'm learning to deal with in my own life. My clients keep me honest! I'm not kidding when I say I might be two weeks ahead of them in learning how best to resolve one of the myriad dilemmas that life likes to pose. The best therapists are those who have learned from their own experience because the wisdom you need as a counselor doesn't only come from the books!

So, being a therapist to me means always having to take that next step in my own personal growth, to confront the next opportunity that so often presents itself as a problem. "Life is for learning," one of the old rock ballads says and, in my business you can't afford to take too much of a break. It makes for a very vibrant lifestyle, let me tell you! My wife, Linda, is also a therapist and we sometimes see couples together. It's not all that unusual for us as a couple to confront a problem, to run into a rough spot in our relationship, and then see that same problem in one of our couples a few weeks later. It's almost like we're being taught how to resolve a dilemma so we'll be able to help out one of our clients soon after

my graduation piece...

There are many different journeys and moments in life. In these journeys and moments, we experience an array of feelings: anger, sadness, happiness; uncertainty, security; fearfulness, relief; disappointment, hopefulness; helplessness, confidence; irritation and comfort amongst others.

The artwork uses two key visual elements; the moon and the bridge to depict different moments in a therapeutic journey. The moon being a reflector of light is a symbolic representation of one of the roles of a therapist in a therapeutic relationship. When therapy is at work, the therapist often acts as a mirror and reflector for the client to see things in another light and make new discoveries or gain new insights. These new discoveries and insights may stir up different kinds of feelings, both positive and negative.

Having these feelings are all part of a therapeutic journey whereby both the therapist and the client work collaboratively towards a common goal. The bridge in the artwork symbolizes this collaborative journey. As the client reaches the end of the bridge with the help of the therapist, the client will be empowered to embrace what is ahead of him/her. It is also this moment in time that the client will recollect his/her journey and growth, visually represented by the moon’s reflections on the waters. The moment of looking ahead is also most promising for the client and the therapist, and it is depicted through the entirety of the artwork.

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thank you my dear friend for your good photography eyes and skills :)

starting again...

started my final clinical internship today... my heart feels very heavy.... not too sure why but probably due to one of the cases... really not sure how i can help... (taking time to digest too...)

the bulk of last week was spent at an international conference... it was an eye opener... i feel so small amidst all the international and local delegates... realised that indeed my journey has just begun...

e 5 stages of grief...

my little train...

afterthoughts....

this was the train i brought to one of the therapy sessions with this little boy... initially it was really difficult to see what i would be able to do for him in therapy... due to his background... he was a very disturbed and sad child... he was hyper-vigilance at all times... obviously uncomfortable with my presence in the room... it was also hard for him to comprehend the relationship i was building with him... though we started with art... it seemed that he needed more than that... he also definitely needed to do what he wanted to do instead of being told what to do...

the first two sessions of painting (by his choice) led to a many pieces of 'black papers' as he mixed all the colours together... were the sessions chaotic or validating? it was later that he hinted that he has used the colours because i prepared for him... he did it to please me... just as he has wanted to please the adults around him... as we moved in therapy he was able to tell me not to prepare paints as he would not want to use them... was it too chaotic for him? did he feel he would get out of control using them?

many weeks went on with him playing with the toy trains and some trucks... my role was unobtrusive... reflecting what he said during those sessions yet not pushing for more... there were many moments of silence... there were also sessions of "destruction" whereby all characters (including me and himself) died in his play.... there were also "bad" moments where sessions ended in a chaos filled with anger (in him) and defeat (in me)....

but at the end of the day it was an amazing journey of how he progressed throughout the 15 sessions we had... not only did he in the end felt comfortable with my presence... he also felt it was ok to include me in his play and art... his coped better with his behaviour and relationships with others as we resolved some of his inner conflicts in the sessions through his play and art process... and the relationship we have built... he needed to be who he wanted to be... a child needs to feel that he can truly be a child and is a child...

the session ended with him painting a wooden truck to take away with him... to have something to take away... it was then that i wondered if he had colour blindness... due to some of his behaviours and questions... hopefully this has been checked out for him...

four months of work with a child is really not enough... but i hope i have been helpful and that the sessions have somehow empowered him....

interesting...

Came across this on a blog by an art therapist... tried it and found it quite interesting :)

It's from The Color Career Counselor, powered by The Dewey Color System -- the world's only validated, non-language color-based career testing instrument -- uses color preferences to determine successful career paths. Dewey Sadka, author of "The Dewey Color System," says using colors instead of a questionnaire eliminates the chasm between self-perception and self-truth and reveals your core motivations.

BEST OCCUPATIONAL CATEGORY
You are a CREATOR
Key Words: Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional
These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.

Creator Occupations:
Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.

Creator Workplaces:
Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature. Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

2nd BEST OCCUPATIONAL CATEGORY

You're an ORGANIZER
Key Words: Self-Control, Practical, Self-Contained, Orderly, Systematic, Precise, and Accurate
These conservative appearing, plotting-types enjoy organizing, data systems, accounting, detail, and accuracy. They often enjoy mathematics and data management activities such as accounting and investment management. Persistence and patience allows them to do detailed paperwork, operate office machines, write business reports, and make charts and graphs.