journal entries...

Charcoal....

Sun or Moon . Sunrise or Sunset

hehe.. it's been some time!

gosh! wow... it's been a busy week! did not have the time to blog or enter more entries for my journal... haha... has been immersing myself in readings and readings and more readings! haha... but ok ya... it's been enjoyable most of the time.. except while reading F****! Really a verbal diarrhoea! haha... opps....

did not really have the time to reflect upon the lessons at sch... ya... just here and there.. hehe... but we did lots of sharing at sch! really like cell...hehe...well... had some negative emotions and discouragement after the lesson on mon... hmmm... we were exploring with charcoal to create artworks... it was not much of the technique... but i think i was caught up with trying too much and too conscious of what's happening around me... i felt stressed and terrible after the lesson... just like i told bee... while my friends say my art is good... i really felt incompetent and lusy after the lesson....was like 'gosh! what am i going to do'... to the extent i do not want to look at those artworks anymore!

being safe is indeed important.... i did not feel that safety... ya....

on a brighter side! today's session was better! hehe! i kind of like consciously making the effort to 'let go' and just enjoy the process... playing with myself... hehe.... the image created was happier.. full of energy... though i did not think much while creating.. just letting the flow flows... i felt very happy after doing it... yup... and i have learnt to give feedback too! as compared to the last session where i was quiet throughout.. i did it today! it's a liberation and breakthrough... yeah...

hee... went back to GO to relief teach yesterday! saw my dear girls... haha... they miss me... hehe... well i miss them too! and i saw nich hehe! he's so cute! hehe... like py says... he's literally flying after seeing me! hehe... when asked if he misses me...... he said yes! hehe... oh nich! so sweet! hehe...

that's all.. gonna do my journal before i lose the reflection thoughts... maybe i will visit the artworks again... haha... try....

hehe... exercising is good!

haha.... have been jogging twice a week for the past one month! finally an achievement for me! hehe.. eh... but not very long lah... abt 3.2 km each time only... but enough for me!

well it's true that exercising makes me happy! (other than doing art)... hehe... but have to take the first step! cos sometimes very tempted to nua... haha... thanks my bro for his company! hehe!

been taking life easy since i stopped teaching... while walking after the jog today... i suddenly realised that sometimes it is good to take life easy... move at a slower pace... it's a luxury... cos to be honest... i was still worried... worried abt my course... abt not having a job for the next 2 years and have to watch my expenses... not that i spend alot... the fact is i did not earn alot! haha.. well well... ya... so there were worries... but sometimes i will be successful in telling myself to not worry and trust God.... not that i have been walking closely with Him... but i somehow still feel His assurance....

have been getting more in touch with myself... taking note of life... (also because of the course)... this is a very different way of life as compared to my past 5 years... where life was simply busy and a mad rush most of the times... not that i regret teaching... in fact i love it! and i thank God for it... it's been a blessing.. a privilege...

ha... but i sense the busy days are coming! gosh! hehe...

haha.... this looks like a different entry from my past entries...

a journal entry...

Look out of the window... what do you see?

It's gonna be a new beginning for me...

Bright and sunny, full of life, full of zest, full or dreams, full of passion...

I hope to keep it this way...

Throughout the course, throughout my learning process...

Thoughts....

My MA class started yesterday. It was a pretty long day as lessons were from 10am-6.30pm. However, the process was a very enjoyable one.

Introduction to Theory and Practice of Art Therapy - An exciting core module filled with theories and approaches.

After doing the non-verbal visual communication activity, it reminded me of the children with autism back in GO. The children use Picture Exchange System (PECS) to communicate their needs. It's amazing how a picture can paint a thousand words and how you can communicate more effectively through the use of pictures. On the other hand, while it can be said as a universal language, one can also misinterpret the intention and meaning of the pictures and images. I experience is in the activity when I drew the first symbol and my partner drew hers in response, the images were in contrast. I realised that she probably did not share the same direction and i decided to 'follow' hers and drew symbols to add on to hers. Though we had different ideas in mind, we compromised and work together to form a beautiful image. I sensed a building of relationship. What we did was something that's not so literal, it was more of abstract. At the end of the activity I felt good.

The activity also led to questions in me: Why is it that one can hide his/her feelings through words easily, but when it comes to pictures and images, it seems somehow easier to express what's truly in us? Is it because it is harder to interpret feelings and emotions of one's true self through pictures and images as compared to words that makes it safer for true expression?

Media Studies - Where the fun begins!

Art-making is something I enjoy! Most of the time, it is therapeutic for me as well. I hope to be creative as well as to be able to reflect upon my artworks and processes involved more effectively. The challenges I will face includes the fact that I am a very structured person who likes to begin with an end in mind. This may stifle me as I move along; refusing to allow things to just happen. Nevertheless, I am reminded of the nature of art by what one artist said:

“There is no must in art because art is free” - Wassily Kandinsky

Introduction to Post-Graduate Research - I am in need of this!

A very important module as it will equip me with the skills I need to help me in my writing. How do I see it as a support module? One of the first reasons which made me want to pursue this course was to find out how art therapy can help children with special needs. This very first intent may be able to help me as I think of the topic for my thesis. Writing something which is of interest to me is as important as knowing all the skills involved. The course will provide me with the skills and my experiences now will help lead to my topic.

(This entry will be part of my journal...)

progress of dotting... dotting... dotting...

as i embark on this new journey...

tada! one of the farewell presents i got from GO! from esther! thanks! gonna use this for my journal... dunno what to write in it yet... let's see...gonna have to beef up my writing skills...oh it's gonna be where i insert all my images as well!
was reading the programme booklet last night... getting a bit stressed! panic button is officially on! HELP!!! haha... got exams for the first 3 semester! not forgetting the scary research proposal.... and the final paper.. and all the others! man... faint liao... why did i have the courage to go apply in the first place! haha... i gonna seek help! HELP! hehe...

a lot of things to be done... gonna make sure i am motivated! hehe... first gonna get a new transparent cover or my dear lappie! the old cover has turned yellowish le... can't do without it... and since i'm not gonna have money to buy a new mac... i gonna have to depend on my dear Asus for the next 2 yrs! it have served me well for the past 3 yrs! very good lappie! hehe... and beautiful still!

on my way to getting my weekly therapy session as well... haha... not that i have any problems... but it's for well-being! hehe.... and just in case i have prob next time! and it's course requirement! but ah... it's super duper ex! faint! HELP!

A New Beginning!

hee... went for orientation today! hehe... came back with alot of thots... dunno where to start from...

So tada! start with this pic i drew to intro myself... hehe... a very childlike drawing... but that's what i have done within like 3 mins...hehe... did not really think about it.. just wanted to introduce my background and some part of me which like to roam around the world... back to nature... haha.... Art 就是 Art... intro also must draw...hehe... well well... haha... more to come!

get to know a few ppl today... hehe... to me my cohort consists of all the happening ppl! except me! haha... they come for vast backgrounds... very colourful.... i'm impressed...hehe.... eh.... i must say again... i think i'm the youngest again! one of of the youngest! haha... just telling big birdie that God has been so funny... always put me in such situation since i know Him... big birdie said that i should have gotten used to it and perhaps God's trying to show me His sense of humor! haha... i am convinced! was feeling quite old seeing all the students (and they are really young lor! teenagers!) hehe... until i finally met my cohort and i feel more at home...haha...

there's a lot of things to settle... to learn... in the weeks and months to come! i'm excited.. yet at the same time fearful.... i know it will get busier as time passes by... but i do not want that to come prematurely.... do not want time to pass before i know.. do not want to miss the entire picture....

the Lord has been gracious and faithful.... i got in by His grace and providence too... i remember that the Lord showed me His word when i entered GO 5 years ago... it lasted me till now... "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." -Matthew 7: 12-14... before i ask the Lord for a new word for the next two years... that is something i want to remember too... that this path may not be easy... i may stumble and fall.... but as i have always said... sometimes it's just a flat tyre in the rain... and you have to endure the rain to see the rainbow!... i will hang on! gambatei Jass!

ah... so many things.... i must get started! i must get going! MA here i come!