e 5 stages of grief...

little thaddeus...

回家的路上。。。我望着月亮。。。想起了 I。。。 从此以后《月亮代表我的心》这首歌就再也不一样了。。。

那时刻。。。 我也想起了 little thaddeus。。。我希望他能健健康康的成长。。。

to I and J...

my two dearest...

did i question God why did He take my 2 dearest away and allow me to go through the pain twice? i think i did... which of cos i did not get an answer... and i guess after a while i have forgotten to press for the answer... i needed more time in letting go... in grieving... in coming to terms with it...

nevertheless... i thank God for bringing both of them into my life... even if i know that i would have known that i would lose them this soon...i would still choose to be their ms chen...

to I: ms chen have not come to terms with you leaving us... i am still telling God i wish you are here... ever happy... and hoping that you are strong and healthy... give me some more time... in fact it gonna be a long long time... how's heaven? must be beautiful yeah? have you found J yet... just like what ms lee said to me today... both of u will be sharing your fav disney characters! if you have not found J... must find him soon! and tell him that ms chen miss him a lot a lot! did you hear the song we sang for you today? hope you like it ya... ms chen was just watching all e videos ms neo and ms lee took for you... i missed you so much when watching them... but i can't stop myself from watching... you are really God's gift to me you know... no matter how cheeky you were... no matter how many times we struggled with each other... ms chen still loves you very very very much! and this is something that will never ever change... i gonna have to say bye to you tmr... i dunno how am i going to cope... ms chen will try... try to say bye to you dear... you must bless daddy, mommy and jie jie k... help them to remember you are in good hands now... and that they can let you go find God too.... i see you tmr... then i will have to say goodbye to u....

to J: my dearest.... how are you? it's been more than a year since you left us... ms chen still misses you very much... esp every time when i look at your photo on my table... now i have yours and I.... have you found I yet? since you went to heaven earlier... you must help to look after I k? i have told I to go look for you... you must look for him too! ms chen cried a lot today... missed you very very very much and hope i can still hold your hand like before too... i met mommy... she came to see I... she is saddened too... and she is reminded of you too... you must also continue to bless daddy, mommy, di di and mei mei(s) k.... watch over them and keep them safe and sound... do not let them fall sick k.... ms chen gonna visit you soon... will buy a new tigger when i go visit you... i miss you....

the pain in my heart is indescribable... even though i have reminded myself not to cry too much... not to add to the grief of the family members... i have failed terribly each time... losing my 2 dearest is too much... it is so so so so so painful... thank you jie, py, m, yw, cy, ym for all your love and support during these difficult times... it would have been a million times harder without you all going thru this with me...

as my 2 dearest have stood next to each other on stage singing 'i cast all my cares upon You' a couple of years ago... they now sit at the left and right hand side of the Lord... singing the same song too...

I and J... i wish both of you are still around... strong & healthy...

Welcome to the Family

Welcome to the family
We're glad that you have come
To share you life with us
As we grow in love
And may we always be to you
What God would have us be
A family always there
To be strong
and to lean on

May we learn to love each other
More with each new day
May words of love be on our lips
In everything we say
May the Spirit melt our hearts
That we might be a true family
And teach us how to pray

I Cast All My Cares Upon You

I cast all my cares upon you

I lay all of my burdens down at your feet

At any time I don't know what to do

I will cast all my cares upon you

These were the songs both my 2 dearest liked when they were around...Lord it is so hard...

an arty day!

hee... had a very arty day yesterday with J and S...

first we started and competed a wall mural at **... hehe... a million to both my friends for blessing the students! we had a lot of fun painting too!

tada!

initially i dun really like the theme and was worried... but i think when we paint with our hearts... it turned out fine! hehe...

then we went to omni-theatre to watch documentary on Van Gogh! we had the entire theatre to ourselves! hehe... cool! and it was the first time s is there! hehe... we took a lot of photos (amusing ourselves! haha)... hee... the doc is quite nice! never look at Van Gogh's paintings from such perspective... we felt that some parts were rather intense! with that... we ended our arty and fun day!

oh... crow showed me this run that is coming up! i wanna go! hope i dun collapse half way! haven't run this week!

a busy week...

haven't been blogging... did relief teaching for the entire week... and it's a super busy weekend this weekend... faintz... think i have been nuaing too much... hehe...

going to paint a wall mural next week... it is bringing back a lot of memories... still remember the biggest wall mural i painted back in 2007... wow...

a stitched pic of the mural.. made up of 3 sides of wall in a room...