for 猴脑... hehe:)

Why do I feel this way?

I know that I do not need your affirmation.. But why do I feel so angry when I saw what you commented? It gonna be my own issue right? Sigh!

a sweet memory :)

have you created this kind of books when you were in primary school? saw these books featured in a tv programme today and brought back my memories! i painstakingly created several books with pull out tabs for reading projects in primary school! if i remember correctly, the elements in the book can move as you pull the tabs! gosh furthermore all hand drawn since i did not have any computer at home then... should have kept the books! faintz!

attachment...

The last four days of attending a course on attachment focused therapy have been an enriching, high impact, useful, meaningful, hopeful yet heart wrenching at times.

The essential needs of human existence starting from being an infant to a young child: being safe, being loved, being held, being cared, being regulated. Yet these are far-fetching for some children. Their experiences tell them that the world is unsafe for them hence they need to fight to survive; tell them that they are not good enough to be loved; tell them that to get attention means to make adults scream at them; tell them that they can never find someone to love them and to love forever; tell them that they are bad and unworthy to be loved.

Attachment focused therapy help these children to reattach to their main caregivers, be it mom, dad, foster mom, foster dad, main caregiver in a home. An important point i have missed, at the same time found it hard to work with is the fact that the involvement of the "natural" attachment figure is pivotal in the treatment (other than the use of myself that i use all the time). In fact, parental commitment (birth, foster or surrogate) is the most accurate predictor to the success of attachment therapy as pointed by Dr Arthur's model of dyadic developmental psychotherapy. This is something s and i hope to integrate into our school setting to help our students more effectively. We are beginning with a case in mind.

There were many points that Dr Arthur taught which i hope that all professionals working with children in this area can bear in mind 'cos they are so important... in fact i think they apply to all professionals working with children...

(MOST IMPORTANT AND DEFINITELY TRUE) it is about connection and not compliance... with connection comes compliance...

don't SHOUT at a child... think about what you are communicating when you do that... regulate yourself to regulate the child...

intervene the causes and not symptoms of behaviours... the way to handle a child's tantrum is to intervene before the child gets to that sate of dysregulation...

work at maintaining PACE in therapy... Playful, Accepting, Curious and Empathy...

the power of holding a child in loving, regulating and comforting way...

be brave to apologize to the child when we adults are wrong...

a child always yearn for parents' love no matter what their parents did to them...

work at a child's developmental instead of chronological age...

the importance of building and maintaining an alliance while working with a child in therapy and all...

always treat using "first things first"... so what the child is slouching on the couch of walking around the room... so long as they are engaged with you...

remember that children are always watching what we adults do...and they learn.... good or bad...

i hope that i will always remember these principles... even if it is the most difficult child to work with... it is hardly the child's fault... and there must always be something positive to hold on to... till we experience more...

disclaimer: however it does not mean i will not be tired... i will if i am truly working hard alongside the children and teens i see... i just need to rest to start again:)

missing ian and jon...

it's nearing ian's anniversary again... i tend to miss these two little ones more during this time... and remembering the joy and blessings they brought into my life cause my eyes to turn teary... actually they are not very little lah... but just that they remained little in my hearts...

today s said that when we all meet in heaven again... we do not retain the worldly relationships but all become brothers and sisters... but we are both not sure if we will still remember our worldly relationships... maybe not... but that means i get to call ian and jon my brothers? yeah my little brothers...

on the other hand... it means we must treasure our current relationships... cos they just happen once...

a new blog skin :)

hehe here's my new blog skin that i spent some time doing last night... including the small pictures at the title area was challenging... Google helped!

why the new blog skin? hmmm... i think it gonna be a new beginning after Oct 2012! hehe... jass wanna enjoy the little things in life :)

think i learned to slow down a lot in the work i do with the children i see in therapy... sometimes they get rushed so much that all it takes to help is to slow down...

hence i wanna apply that to my life as well... slow down to go further... slow down to not sweat over the small stuff... kapok from ade: carpe diem meaning seize the moment:)

:)

hmmm...

what he said came as a surprise... but it left me pondering as well...

what jass wanted yesterday :p

i want no more...

working with such is stifling and pointless...

word : lethargic